You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
