My brain says no but my pants say off.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
