A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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