SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
