I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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