He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
