i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
