there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you will always have a special place in my vag
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My life is pants optional.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
