I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize