? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
