Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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