Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
