After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
