i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
