Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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