Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
