Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
