sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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