Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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