dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This house was built for laser tag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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