im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
