Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he thought i was a dude.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
pray to the hookup gods
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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