HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how do flat chested girls get laid?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
