Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
