Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
