She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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