Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
