A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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