Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
