What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
