Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
