my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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