I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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