Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
