She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
