I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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