ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
