Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
