hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How does it feel to date your dad?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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