First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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