I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
