If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
