so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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