the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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