I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
