margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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