lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
