Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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