suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
