I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it because I queefed?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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