Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
